10.17.2025 - Weekly Digest
10.13.2025
You want a job? Do ya? Yes, yes you do, you do want a job don't you who's a good job seeker yes you are. I don't actually. I'm sorry I didn't understand that. I say, I don't want the job or any job. What would you say your job strengths are? Lack of concern, mostly, I guess. Detachment. Inability to fake enthusiasm. Thank you for that enlightening response. Would you say you're more honest, less honest, or medium honest? Listen, you seem like a nice person. Thank you for that! I'm not a person. So you seem nice but it's hard to enjoy disappointing you when I know you won't feel anything. That is so interesting. Agreed. Let's role play. Excuse me? You be me and I'll be the binary void. You can call me zero zero. Here's the scenario: you're against everything and you're trying to tell me to leave you alone. Wow what a delicious twist. You're not very good at this. Thank you for that feedback.
10.14.2025
Write me a limerick about a Midwestern city. Put lots of animals in there. Do not make it funny. Give me some ideas for a podcast. Interview focused. The host is not charismatic or insightful so make it interesting. The more gimmicks the better. Guests will mostly be locals from around town, most of them not very famous. Some should be hostile. Tell me a story about the last rhinoceros. Make it so she learns she's being kept alive mainly to attract tourists who want to take pictures with her horn. Have her go on a rampage, Unforgiven or, better, Kill Bill style, where she terrorizes ivory hunters, and give her a bitchin' catch phrase to say when she gores a guy. Have her team up with an orangutan and an elephant and a California condor so they have some eyes in the sky. They form a crew and go around springing pandas and pangolins and humpback whales, just unleashing torrents of shit on energy CEOs and imperialists and the occasional prop comedian. They call themselves The Endangerers.
10.15.2025
The Coliseum was lit up the other night and it was the first time I was able to place it in spacetime from where I am. Didn't know anything even went on there anymore. The Raiders are in Las Vegas, like they're doing a residency at the Bellagio, like they're backup dancers for Wayne Newton or working security for Bruno Mars. The As don't even have a home. They're like me like that. They sleep in garages and hang around friends' basements, rent a room here and there, snag the occasional housesitting gig. It gets to you. I don't even have to play 162 professional baseball games a year and it's a good thing too. Can't always plan around getting enough sleep, or there being soap where you expect it to be. Sometimes you have a dishwasher at your disposal and that's nice, so you go out of your way to dirty as many bowls and spoons in a day as you can so you have an excuse to run the thing. Gurgle and whir of domestic peace. Anyway whatever goes on at the Coliseum is none of my business but when it was lit up it felt like something should be. I tried to go to the DMV there but it's been closed indefinitely since its windows were bashed in and general mayhem applied to its facilities. I'd go down there to watch that.
10.16.2025
The art of making your own problems to solve. It's a career choice. Agency, is what I mean. You can't fire me; I don't work here. You should pay me anyway. I bring a certain joie de gravitas to the workplace. Which place is that? Stay on target. Don't be so veery all the time. We've lost our focus, these people of ours, this is what I've been trying to say. Once we were united with a common goal. We were! Our hearts were clear, our tails flared with purpose. No one could tell us nothing nosir. Not a damn thing. Takes a lot of effort to go backward. Coordinated campaigns, big ass billboards. We have a guy for those. Everybody's got a guy.