5.15.2025

I got lost in a village in Germany when I was a teenager. I had the wrong pants on for a choir gig and the director and I didn't like each other anyway so I headed back in the general direction of my host house. I expected not to find it and I may have seen it and kept walking. Petty rebellion but I'd been feeling confined by the trip's restrictions. I wandered the cobblestones and marveled at how Grimm's it all looked, ended up in a nature preserve where everything was lush and serene. Having taken up enough time to prove my point I approached a gentleman walking his fluffy dog through the woods. He knew right away that I was American. My dorky arts camp polo was probably a helpful clue, and that I didn't even know how to properly say Do You Speak English. I asked him how to get to the gymnasium which I knew meant high school. He took me to a nearby elementary school where the office ladies made a few phone calls. Not trusting me to not get lost again a friendly person gave me a ride there. I arrived to a commotion. Local cops outside, other fine arts camp choir singers in their blue uniform shirts, general alarum like I'd been kidnapped and just walked out of the woods with a traumatic story to tell. My girlfriend ran to me, crying, relieved, certain I'd been abducted by Nazis. Sorry, I told her, it was the best day.